I’m always super uncomfortable commenting on people’s appearances. Mostly because of my own inner voice. If someone says I look like I’ve lost weight, I say thanks, but the voice in my head is saying, “So, I was fat last time you saw me?” or “I feel like a fraud because I had typhoid and threw up and shat away 14 pounds while burning tons of calories writhing on the bed with fever and excruciating pain.”
The other day, I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in months, and she looked thinner, younger, even sparkly. I started to say something but didn’t. I started to send a text, but didn’t. In the end I sent a wordy email complimenting her, but ending with a clause stating, “without any implication that you looked any less amazing before”.
When I relayed this story to another friend she laughed and told me I Woody Allened it. I guess I am that neurotic.
My goal is to not only accept a compliment with grace, but to accept it without filtering it through my own bullshit, and to be able to give a compliment without over-thinking it.
Here’s a hilarious video on compliments.