Vivi started preschool last month, just on Fridays for 3 hours in the morning. I suffered acute separation anxiety. After we signed in, she immediately got engaged in some activity, and I was encouraged by the teacher to slip out. I paced outside the building for about 10 minutes until another mother/daughter arrived late. When the Mom exited after dropping her daughter off, I pounced on her to ask if anyone was crying inside the classroom. She laughed and said no. I was relieved, but also devastated. So, I walked home and tried to get some things done. I felt sick the entire time though. I worried that she might fall and scrape her knee and need ME. I mean, how could she get by without me for 3 hours? When I finally got to pick her up she was jolly and full of stories about school – her new favorite thing.
Now we’re a month into it, and I really can get some things done while she’s at school. I have already switched over from separation anxiety to pangs of guilt because I’m actually looking forward to getting her into the 4 mornings a week program.
I’m torn because she is about to turn 4, and these have been the fastest 4 years of my life. I haven’t left her with babysitters so I could continue with my life, she has been my life. Being with her pretty much 24/7 has been exactly what I wanted to do, and I feel blessed and grateful that I have been able to.
Starting preschool isn’t just her milestone, it’s mine too.