Drifting
Sometimes it feels like I’ve always been drifting
A piece of kelp on a huge ocean
Never able to secure my roots to a rock
Strong enough to hold me
Running
No place has the magic to keep my attention for long
Travel Light
Don’t Collect Things
Ready to go at a moment’s notice
Fighting
A battle that rages inside, tearing at my soul
A past that seems like a dream, no proof
A present that flickers in fast forward
A future that promises more than it could ever deliver
Loving
There has only been one love that burned so brightly
It threatened to consume me
It turned me inside out and left me
Shattered, humbled, and closed off.
Searching
Where is my safe haven?
Will I ever feel connected to a culture?
Is there a place I will someday call HOME?
Will this uncertainty ever leave me?
Dying
Of course we’re all dying but
Do the pains of not living our dreams
Kill our spirits quicker than a car wreck
Can so easily destroy our bodies?
Funny…in the same way you’re drifting and envious of roots, I sometimes see them as chains. I’d love to be able to uproot and see all of the things you’ve seen.
There are times when it’s tough, like when I’ve arrived in a new place and met people who have been friends since preschool, it’s a bond I’ll never know and that makes me feel like an outsider. It also makes me value and never take for granted the friendships I’ve forged all over the world.
this was really good! in some ways i feel like this too. i have a bracelet that says ‘not all who wander are lost’ and i feel like you can relate — not all of us are confined to a box or one place. some of us need to spread our wings a bit and wander 🙂
Thanks Allison! Yeah totally, I love that quote. I don’t feel lost, but I do have what might be considered a compulsion to wander.
Beautiful, striking words. I especially related to this line: A past that seems like a dream, no proof. I realized I’ve felt that way my whole life without really knowing it. Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks Kacy! I feel part of the draw of blogging for me is that now I am leaving some proof. I’m currently going back through old journal entries and calendars finding interesting anecdotes about things that happened long ago, that I’d completely forgotten about. Little treasures that I’m delighted to revisit.
I love this! I think drifting can be a healthy thing–too much of our lives is spent focused on a goal, or a dream, or something very specific that requires a lot of planning and effort. Sometimes, letting yourself just be is exactly what the soul needs.
Thanks Pam! My soul has always needed to drift, and I came by it naturally. I’m working on a post about moving 20 times by the time I was 9 years old. #raisedbygypsies