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Mama and Me – My First BFF

I was about a week old in this photo.  Mom was 20.

Mothers and daughters always seem to have complicated relationships, so I think I’m lucky that Mom and I have pretty much always been friends.  Sure, like any other teenager I was rotten and self-absorbed and probably thought my parents were set on earth to ruin my fun, but we got through that phase.

We redefined our relationship after my first marriage ended, but that’s another story.

Shortly after that I left Canada and started to appreciate my family from a distance.  It’s really easy to enjoy family when you only see them once a year.  The old saying is true, “How can you miss me if I don’t go away.”  I outgrew much of the selfishness of my 20’s far from home.  I always felt grateful that my parents supported and encouraged my independent and free-spirited nature.  When my next relationship ended, Mom flew down and spent two weeks on the dive boat with me to make sure I was ok.  I held her hand while we swam with wild dolphins, and we did Jell-O shots together in crew’s quarters.  When I decided to take a leave from the boat and backpack around Europe for 5 months, Mom flew over and traveled with me for a few weeks.  We caught up with friends and relatives in the UK, and then because I was complaining about the cold, she booked us a week of timeshare in the Canary Islands where we played tennis, and hung out at the beach watching windsurfers.

Now that I have a daughter of my own, I find myself apologizing to my Mom for being so wild.

Mama and me, my first bff

When I first held my critter, I thought of Mom holding me, and the look on her face in the photo above.

In an instant, my imagination had my child growing into a person like me, leaving home at a young age and doing crazy, dangerous things.  I suddenly felt huge remorse, not for following my dreams of course, but for the anxiety I surely caused my Mom during all those years before we had access to satphones, and she had to just wait for me to check in after a hurricane.   I don’t know if I’ll be able to be as supportive.  Hell, my mom even tried skydiving to see for herself why I liked it so much.

Whenever I look at this photo, I think of a conversation I had with Mom a few years ago.  Vivi was tiny and Mom was watching us play together.  She said, “She’s your best friend in the world right now, isn’t she?”  I said yes and then it hit me.  I asked Mom, “That’s how you felt about me, when I was this age, right?”  She nodded, and a current passed through us, reminding us of the strength of the bond we share.

10 thoughts on “Mama and Me – My First BFF”

  1. Thanks for stopping by! I sometimes joke that my parents and I grew up together because they were so young when they had me. I'm grateful for the kind of relationship I have with both of them.

    Reply
  2. Oh my goodness, just loved reading this! Plus the photo you have posted is so sweet. Always touching to read about a mother daughter relationship. I feel the same of my mom, she's like a best friend to me, and then having a daughter of my own to share that joy she had, love how you wrote this. 🙂

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  3. OMG! That was so beautiful!!! I love how you describe the current flowing between the 3 of you. You can see feel the love and the energy that you all share.
    Happy Mother's Day to you both!
    Cheers,
    Shana from Technotini

    Reply
  4. Moms are pretty great, aren't they? I love the picture! I apologized to my mom too. I still do. After having kids, you start to understand Moms more. 🙂 Love this!

    Reply
  5. What a beautiful picture! And how lucky for you to be close to your mom. My mom and I have had a difficult relationship since I was 11. I don't know if we'll ever truly be close, but having my own kids has definitely given me a better perspective on how hard that must be for her….the hopes and dreams she probably had for us when I was a small. It helps me be more sensitive to her feelings, and try to appreciate the good I can find in our relationship.

    Reply
  6. Great post. Mother/daughter relationships can be complicated. I have two, and my own mother was a mother to three girls. Adding you to my google circles. Stopped in from the google circles hop.
    Angela @ Time with A & N

    Reply
  7. Love how we do get to have our favorite confidant and friend as our mom. That bond begins instantly!

    stopping by for ww

    Reply
  8. This is a beautiful picture, even in black and white she is pretty much glowing. She looks so happy to be with you and without a care for what may lie ahead. Happy.

    Reply

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